latest life

since small till now, my english always at a very low standard.. thats why i seldom post blog in english version.. i feel more comfortable with chinese version because i can express my feeling out with the most suitable words.. but in english i can just use some broken english.. sorry for that.. hope you all can understand what i write. but since some of my uni friends can't read in chinese so this blog i decided to use english version..

this week is a very busy week for me.. i am taking 5 subjects this sem and tis week i got 4 tests.. yesterday 1, thursday 1, friday 1 and sunday 1.. wait.. i think i should say 5 tests because today my moral class suddenly got a pop test.. 4 short essays in just 40 minutes.. so i just craped whatever i can since i didn't prepare anything for it.. but all the seniors said the test actually means nothing.. because the lecturer would not give gred base on the test and final.. it will just depends on the moral project that we will do soon on 22 to 24 feb.. so now 1 down and 3 more to go.. this coming weekend will be a very rush.. rushing for revision.. hehe.. but after this week then i will have my honey moon till chinese new year holiday.. horray.. haha..

when i am using english, i really speechless.. nothing i can write already.. so i think i just stop here.. it is an ordinary blog about my latest life.. good luck to all my friends that have test coming soon.. i hope all of you can get good result.. take good care of your health too because recently weather are so hot..

曾经

曾经我又一个很要好的朋友。。
她是在我要离开怡保去吉隆坡前认识的。。
那时的我和她真的很要好，
要好到那时我们是多么的依依不舍。。
想到那时的情形，
我真的非常感动。。
那时的我时常在想，
为什么我不能早点认识她呢？
为什么当我们那么珍惜对方时，
我们就得分开？
以前的我对电脑是一窍不通，
更别说上网了。
可是，
因为她，
我积极的学着用电脑。。
当我寄出给她的第一封邮件，
我那时真的很兴奋。。
我想那时的她也是吧！
时间一天一天的过去，
也不懂何时开始，
我们的关系变得越来越疏远了。。
我不懂是我做的不够好，
还是我们的友情真的经不起距离，
到后来，
我们只是个普通朋友了。
从要好的朋友，
变去普通的朋友，
一开始我真的很难受。。
真的很舍不得放手让她走。。
我有尽量去挽留，
可是感觉要走，
我也不懂如何是好了。。
那时，
在我心里就只有“顺其自然”。。
现在的我看开了,
也没那么执著了..
一段友情是需要双方面的付出的,
当只有一方面的付出时,
那代表这段友情已接近尾声了..
时常都会回想起以前和她一起的日子,
可是一切就只能变成回忆..
回想回忆时,
甜蜜和开心是有的,
可是,
心酸却是占最大部分的..
因为想起以前的承诺,
和现在的情况,
是没关联的..
无论如何,
我对她的关心还是一样的,
我依然希望她能永远开开心心..

改变 （第二集）

其实一直以来我都很讨厌改变，
不是能用讨厌这个字眼，
应该说害怕。
我认为改变真的需要非常大的勇气，
而我就一直没这个勇气，
因为我怕改变后
所接受的评语不是我想得到的，
害怕朋友们的眼光。
我并不像你们想像中那么坚强的，
我其实是很胆小。
中五之后，
其实我一心是想读中六的，
（理由一样-我不要太大的改变)
可是拿了成绩之后,
我又有了不同的想法了.
我想去一个不同的地方,
因为我想改变了.
(很矛盾吧?但人就是这样的)
就这样,
我离开了我的朋友,
远离我亲爱的家人,
独自来到国能大学.
说是要改变,
可是那时就不知从何下手,
所以改变的速度有点暖慢.
心里一直很想改变,
可是行动却支配不了.
一直到现在,
我拉直了我的头发,
看起来不同了,
可能是留海的关系吧.
我的朋友应该都不习惯我新的形象吧.
嘻嘻.
其实我也蛮满意的,
因为我已成功的踏出第一步.
最困难的一步已经跨越了,
我对自己更有信心了.
最难的改变,
其实是改变自己的心态.

改变 （第一集）

朋友眼中的我，
都是很男子气的。。
以前在中学时代，
在学校友很多人都认为我是Tomboy，
不但是学生而已，
就连老师也是如此。。
以前的我，
并不在乎大家当我是男是女。。
但是现在的我就不同了。。
嘻嘻。。
有不少人问过我这个问题，
为什么以前我会那么男子气？？
我总是想也不想的回答他们，
因为打球的关系。。
可是真正的答案，
其实是因为。。。
我小学的时候（大概是五，六年级）
我突然“发福”。。
那时双下巴就是我的特征。。
还记得拍小学毕业照时，
为了避免我的双下巴的出现，
我特地把我的头向上移。。
哈哈，现在想起真的很搞笑。。
回正题。。
就是因为我那时的巨人身材。。
所以从那时候开始，
除了校裙，
我再也没什么穿裙了。。
（我就读的小学一定要齐装，除非有学跳舞的）
所以为了掩饰我的整齐的齐装，
我就越剪越短。。
慢慢演变成大家眼中的Tomboy。。
就这样，
我的形象就这样定了下来。。


待续。。。。

烦!!!

现在的心情真的很难形容..
如果真的要找个字,
那该是-------->烦!
突然感到非常讨厌现在的生活..
总觉得一切发生在我身边的事情都很不如意..
一堆堆问题,
犹如政府在难民区派粮食,
毫无秩序的涌出来..
决定,
为什么那么难做决定??
就只是一个那么简单的决定,
而我却觉得困难..
我在想,
我是个负责任的人吗?
朋友们常把我说到那么好,
可是我真的是那么好吗?
我不觉得..
我觉得我真的很差劲..
我很讨厌我自己啊..
为什么我那么没主见??
为什么我那么被动???
我.....我.....我.......
我无话可说了...

you wil never be alone., my friend..

If the hero never comes to you

If you need someone you’re feeling blue

If you’re away from love and you’re alone

If you call your frends and nobody’s home

You can run away but you can’t hide

Through a storm and through a lonely night

Then I show you there’s a destiny

The best things in life

They’re free

But if you wana cry

Cry on my shoulder

If you need someone who cares for you

If you’re feeling sad your heart gets colder

Yes I show you what real love can do

If you sky is grey oh let me know

There’s a place in heaven where we’ll go

If heaven is a million years away

Oh just call me and I make your day

When the nights are getting cold and blue

When the days are getting hard for you

I will always stay here by your side

I promise you

I’ll never hide

HAppy NEw YEar 2008..

happy new year 2008 to all my frends.. so fast 2007 ald bcum history for all of us.. now lets refresh back 2gether, wat u had done in the year?? anything happen tat make u unhappy?? anything happen tat make u happy?? anything happen tat make u feel touching?? any memorable things happen?? many ques will appear in our mind if v wan to do a postmortem now.. hehe.. n sure i can get all the ans for this ques.. i noe tat 2007 is a memorable year for me.. coz i enjoyed my life ALMOST every second.. hehe.. sound great?? hope im correct.. hehe..
i cant rmb how i celebrate my new year eve last year... but tis year its a bit special.. y i said its special?? 1stly, bcoz my stupid moral class end at 9pm.. by tat time every1 ald go out book place countdown d.. so i decided follow alex go bek klang 2 do the countdown.. v departed at 9pm.. reached klang around 10pm wif no traffic jam.. (luckily) due to our host, mr alex haven take his dinner so v went for steamboat.. steamboat in klang slightly different.. not buffet style.. its like they prepare the amount of food for us base on num of head v order... but i tink its worth for me.. coz i cant eat much oso.. hehe.. alex introduced his best frend, lim, to me.. he is a nice guy.. (although i just noe him for almost 2 hours plus..) after finished steamboat, v went 2 the biggest jusco in asia... (statement from doou han) there got a mini concert wif 3 artists - zhang dong liang, suki n jac.. when i reached jusco, its ald 11.30pm i tink.. heard zhang dong liang sang a song..
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...... happy new year.. tats wat v shouted for countdown.. haha.. then 7 minits of firewoods displayed in the sky.. wow.. it was so nice.. i long time din c firewoods d.. countdown act just count tat 10 seconds ni.. but how cum all ppl so excited when talking bout countdown?? haha.. anyway, v went bek 2 serdang after tat.. joined our 2nd celebration activity i guess.. reached li chiat's house.. yee siong n may peng were drunk.. (not me ah.. i din drink at all k?? im guai lui lai de.. hehe.. ) so i jz lepak there lah.. in the end mahjong took place.. but i jz played a while ni.. alex ganti me after tat..
4.30am.. a gang of sot ppl decided 2 rock mcd in equine park.. 4 cars went there.. enjoyed our 1st breakfast in year 2008.. haha.. our laughter was semangat enuf 2 wake up all the ppl there act.. had sum crapping section there.. but it was really fun when gather wif a gang of good frend.. hehe.. 6am.. v went bek 2 uniten.. since wed i stil got EMD test.. so i canot too crazy until dun sleep 2day.. but bcoz too full.. so i decied 2 post tis blog b4 i sleep.. so tis is how i countdown n celebrate my new year.. mayb 2 u all its normal.. but i tink its memorable.. i will rmb it at least until next year.. haha..
oklah.. got 2 sleep d.. if not tmr duno wat time i will wake up 2 study.. happy new year 2 all my frends.. hope u all will hav a better year...