重出江湖。。。

很久，真的很久没把自己的心声倾诉在这个部落格了。
不知不觉已踏入社会差不多三年了。
时间真的过的很快。
在我踏入社会之前，
有人说无论你读书多么厉害，
社会学是最难掌握的。
我绝对赞成。
人性真的可以是很恐怖的，
这个社会是你无可想象的宇宙，
此时，个人的修行是重点了。
我自认我还可以控制自己的情绪，
虽然不是最好，
可是我会以自己的方式去释怀心理的不满。
朋友们都说我这个人怎么时常都那么看得开，
我自问，我也有低沉的一刻，
可是我不会让自己沉醉在那里。
因为事情不会因为消沉而消失。
老土讲一句，
伤心又要过，开心又要过，
为什么不开开心心地过？
我没有远大的理想，也没有天大的梦想，
我只想过着我不会遗憾的生活。
朋友，你有过的如何呢？

地震后的感言

当我在享受假期的当儿，

突然感觉到整身都有不正常的摇动，

以为自己想太多，

可是我真的看见桌上的水罐的水也在摇动，

我才开始意识到是所谓的地震。

它维持了差不多五分钟，

我开始觉得害怕了。

那时候，我在想如果地震愈来愈严重，

我应该怎么办？

我完全没有主意。

原来我一点安全意识都没有，

好失败。

还好过了差不多五分钟，

摇动停了。

心也静下来了。

可是面子书一直上传晚上槟城将会有Tsunami的到来，

我的担心又回来了。

如果是真的发生，

我应该怎么办？

明天的我将会怎样？

我。。。。。。。

还有很多事情牵挂着。

我。。。。。。。

感到很无奈。

珍惜当下。。。

我真的体会到这句话的真正意思了。

拨了一通电话给家人，

很想听听他们的声音。

朋友，大家小心了。

你还会有多少个十年？

人生本来就是很矛盾的。

有人投诉没时间，因为工作忙。

常说不是我想要加班的，

而是工作真的做不完。

但试想，

有人可以每天准时下班，

是不是代表他把所有工作做完？

是不是代表他不负责任？

我想是因为他懂得自律。

他懂得什么是必要，什么是应该。

刚开始踏入工作社会，

以为拼命工作才会有前途。

所以不惜一切，

把所有时间花在工作上，

忽略了家人，情人与朋友。

没了自己的生活。

搞得自己长期活在压力下，

身体变差了，工钱也没加得比人快很多。

人生每有多少个十年，

报纸每天刊登无数的意外与天灾，

你还会有多少个十年？

就连分钟也无法让你掌握。

享受你有能力得来的生活吧！

Walking to another career path..

Having 1 week of break now..

Without work.. Without homework..

Even after i graduate last year,

I not even rest for 1 week before i started to work..

In the past 1 month,

Many things happened around me..

Happy? Sad? Excite? Shock?

How i wish I can delete all the unhappiness things..

I need to be strong..

Not all things will go right like what I looking for..

Time to keep up my mind and start my another new journey in Penang..

It may know be better than before but still i will do my best in whatever i do..

I need to keep up my spirit and attitude to continue my career path..

Sure feel uncomfortable to move in another new environment..

Feel unsecure..

But still i will be brave and walk 1 step forward..

Gambateh la..

Heart pain!

1 year and 4 months ago, i have decided to stay at ipoh for work..

no high salary..

not much benefits..

not the field that i wanted to go in..

but still i'm here due to 1 reason..

F.A.M.I.L.Y..

especially my grandma..

wanted to spend more time with her..

in this 1 year and 4 months,

the time that i spent at home is not what i expected..

i tend to do more OT than i expected due to work load..

i only get to see my grandma in the weekend due to she slept before i get back home

and wake up after i went work..

Honestly, this 1 year and 4 months i learned very fast and alot..

due to the stress and pressure which i cannot afford to be slow..

good thing?? maybe..

but the stress and pressure getting more and more when i stay longer..

turn over rate here is very high which make the current engineers stressful..

especially the working environment in my dept..
no doubt, engineer is really like an 'anjing liar'..

thats y 1 month ago,

i decided to leave..

to continue my learning in different place..

to step out from the comfort zone, family..

try to be independent..

i not sure what is the environment in my new company..

worst than current company??

more stressful than current company??

i cant even save more when i away from ipoh..

but i just dun feel like staying in this company anymore..

However,

few days ago,

my grandma accidently fell down and fractured her bone..

she cannot walk for now..

no appetite to eat..

suffer in pain..

which make my heart pain whenever i see her now..

she admitted hospital yesterday..

Now i wonder,

do i make the right choice to leave now?

should i away from home now??

I have no idea..

sleepless for few nights..

what can i do now??

What will happen when ballon are pump full with air?

fear are always with me nowadays..

just finished a long weekend with a day extra..

but i did went for work during sat and sun which i not suppose to..

pressure are hunting me..

i really feel like giving up but i know i cannot..

I'm not depending on this job to continue my life..

But i'm depending this job to make me stronger..

What will happen when ballon are pump full with air?

What will happen when no more space for the air but air keep going in?

Am i stress? I'm lost!

Since long time i never update anything in my blog.

A blog that accompany me during my university life..

A blog that shares all my feeling with my friends..

A blog that let me release all my happiness, sadness, excitement and etc..

Life getting different when i step inside working environment..

Not a life that i can control like previously..

I can score well if i study well..

But i might not do well in working place although i hardworking..

There is still something lacking that i cannot figure what it is at this moment..

I'm trying hard, really hard to get used to this working life..

I'm trying my best, very best to do well in the work that need to be done..

I'm trying my best to learn more technical stuff to gain own knowledge..

I'm trying, I'm trying and I'm trying..

Sometimes i feel tired to keep on trying..

Can i just give up and live the way i want?

I can't..

Cause i cannot even pass my own heart's wall..

I always hope that i can just relax like others people..

But i can't convince myself to do that..

Why i cannot?

Why?

I started to have nightmare about my work during my sleeping time..

I started to fall sick more often than previous..

I started to have headache and gastric in regular basis.

Am I stress? What should i do? I'm lost!!!